got a Pap smear result showing lesion. should I tell some of the people that I slept with?
HPV is not exactly like other sexually transmitted diseases with which I probably need to caution the men to stop it spreading. in fact, there’s no way to trace who I got HPV from. should I caution them still?
the other reason that caused me to think of telling them is that obviously I got infected from them. that I probably shouldn’t be bearing it all by myself.
thirdly, I probably want solace from them. those people that I want to get in touch with are people that I still regard fondly. though it was me who I haven’t been in touch with them for a while, to protect myself from hurt.
Telling your partners or not has to be well-planned or it does more harm to you than those guys. I don’t know if those men knew that you have multiple partners, so it may be a point of conflict if any one of them think he is the sole partner. Do those men know each other? Do they have other sex partners (including men and women)? You should know these before getting each of them knowing your condition.
The next thing you have to consider is the timing. AFAIK lesion could be low grade or high grade. A low grade lesion would take more time to become cancerous, while a high grade would become more sooner. You should seek further medical advice to see if any diagnoses/check-up needed. If the unfortunate thing happens, then it is up to you to see if any of your partners should hold responsibility - at least morally. The diagnosis would affect the timing and what you expect from them.
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the men didn’t come to my life at the same time and they were the only ones to me at the time. whereas I’m the one who suspects if I was the only one to them.
a more thorough checkup is scheduled and it’s going to cost some $13,xxx to $14,xxx
FYI HPV could stay dormant in the body for years (up to 10-20 years), and it could show symptoms whenever it feels like thorough the rest of the life. it could mean a lifelong of visits to hospitals for checkups and treatments.
Hmm - so at meanwhile what you would expect they would do for you? Just to notify them and ask them to have check-up? Or the one causing the trouble should hold all responsibilities? You have to make up your mind to see if it is “just telling” or you would have further actions on the troublemaker.
It is inevitable to have lifelong follow up by medics, or it may not be cause cancer after all. I feel that you are quite worried.
there’s no way one could identify the source of the infection because of the long dormant period.
I’m not expecting them to pay for my expenses in part or in full. but it doesn’t feel like I should be bearing it all on my own, psychologically not morally. I’m not trying to find anyone to blame.
I think it’s okay to inform them and encourage them to have check-ups, but beware that some men may be too reluctant and may not be moved by your condition. Some may even simply disconnect with you, so you should not expect any kind of constructive response from them.
Keep up to live! Do come back and share if you are worried.
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would be great if someone got diagnosed could share their experience too
i know a friend same case with u, she told all boys that had sex with her before
thanks for sharing. you know why she did that? is it a revenge or just being responsible for oneself? and irrespective of these men’s relationship statuses (eg married with kids)? irrespective of whether your friend and the men are in good terms?
這是一個責任，雖然要面對是困難的，但是在你不知道誰是帶菌者的情況下，你也可能以帶菌者的身份傳染給其中一些男士。所以應該和過去的性伴侶坦白你的HPV情況，大家做個檢查，以後能保障更多人呢。
do they care? they seldom get sick from it. I once asked a foreigner who tried to hook me up - does it bother you at all that your casual behaviour would cause high risk in women? his answer was no and continued his life reckless to women. do they care if they could let themselves go easy and hire prostitutes as an adventure?
我覺得你呢個係另外一個問題啦。
始終通知性伴侶是一個要處理的事，
對方是否在意感染HPV就是對方心態問題，
兩件事是分開的。
只能夠說大家對性健康的態度不同。
actually there doesn’t seem to be screening for men on the strain of hpv that could kill women, only those causing warts could be checked by visual inspection and that’s a different strain.
I’m going through some self doubt so I’ve been questioning myself why I should tell the men.
wonder what men think of it too?
men are terrible T_T.
the reaction was, I was making a big fuss! I shouldn’t be surprised
According to this leaflet from CDC:
http://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/hpvandmen-fact-sheet-february-2012.pdf
Currently, there is no HPV test recommended for men. The only approved HPV tests on the market are for screening women for cervical cancer. They are not useful for screening for HPV-related cancers or genital warts in men.
So it is a matter of “notifying” those men and urge them to look into their health, but in this case I think not they carry HPV or not.
they can’t care less. they think I’m delusional to be telling them as “we” are way over and other men could be the cause not himself. and honestly there’s nothing that they can check. expect them to be abstinent of sex? why would they want to when their sex drive drives them to have so many sexual partners in the first place and the illness doesn’t affect them and cannot be detected on them at all? women are just plain victims on this.